resentment & bitterness are precious guardians
Good Morning Friends,
Last week bitterness and resentment visited me, and lodged solidly in my heart. They inserted themselves there when I was experiencing some of the most profound, gut wrenching grief I have ever felt. They came like an angel, like a repair in the dam when my body and being could not handle anymore waves of wracking emotion. I felt them dig and nestle their way in, securely holding me together when I could not do it on my own.
Bitterness and resentment are not our enemies, my friends. They are divine gifts in exactly the right shape and size needed to protect us and stabilize us when we are at our most vulnerable.
We may need their service for a day, twenty years, a thousand lives. It is no matter. Trust them. They know when it is safe to surrender us to the almost unbearable pain of a breaking heart. They know when we are ready.
When they come to you (maybe they have been with you already for a long time, maybe they will come someday) thank them. You need them when you have them, and this is the way that it is.
Behind these shields of bitterness and resentment is a heart so vulnerable, a heart completely unprotected, a heart that feel everything. A being and a heart not ready to feel the vastness of the wound.
So thank these shields. Simply do that, and you will notice something happening.
Is God cruel? Is God random and unkind? No, I think not. But he does play hardball. He is ruthlessly waking you up, with a fierceness of love beyond all knowing. Only what you truly are can survive, all else will be ripped and burned away.I
I write this, for someone may need it today, and be helped.
Let us be so tender and kind with each other and ourselves, and when we cannot, may we be so tender and kind with that. It is as it should be.
My love to you today, Evangeline
